So long, who and huh?!
Yes, The Bachelorette finally bid adieu to Adam and Matt in tonight’s episode. Oh wait, you don’t know who Adam and Matt are? Well, call us 50 Cent because you can find us in that very club as we are still baffled as to how the guy who brought a puppet version of himself (who happens to have more personality than he does) and the dude who wore a penguin suit made it to the top six. WE REPEAT: these two men made it to the top six. Over Kenny! Over Will! Over DeMario! (Too soon?)
But who are we to judge Rachel Lindsay, one of the greatest Bachelorettes ever gifted to us by ABC? By this point in each season, it’s usually pretty obvious which contestants the lead is actually into, but you know, they have to keep some randos around to fill out a cocktail party and get to travel for free.
This week, Rachel and the six remaining men kicked off the episode in Geneva, Switzerland, with the pressure of knowing the next step in the process is the all-important hometown dates, where the four finalists get to bring Rachel home to meet their family and friends. And Rachel is upping the ante, by telling the men there will be no rose ceremony (WHAT DO THE PRODUCERS HAVE AGAINST ROSE CEREMONIES THIS SEASON?! ASKING FOR A FRIEND AKA US!). Instead, there will be three one-on-ones and one three-on-one.
Here’s the quick and dirty rundown of the four dates:
First one-on-one date: It goes to Matt! LOL, JK. It’s Bryan, the kissing chiropractor. Does she even know who Matt is? Bryan and Rachel go on a luxurious date, driving a Bentley and getting fancy watches, totally preparing them for what their dates will be like once filming ends should Bryan win. During the date he says things like “I love watching you smile!” which would probably weird her out if he didn’t look so good in a suit. He also pulls off his go-to move of aggressively kissing her a lot. Back in the hotel room of boredom, Dean questions Bryan’s sincerity and Peter is just bummed Bryan got the first date again. Elsewhere, Adam and Matt continue to exist.
Bryan and Rachel continue their date, and Rach is very, very into him, but questions why the 37-year-old doc is still single. He then tells her about his last relationship moving too quickly, starting out hot and heavy before she dumped him because of his mother. Totally makes sense to then go on a reality dating show where you have to introduce the lead to your mom!
Undeterred and ready to remake Monster-in-Law, Rachel gives him the rose.
Second one-on-one date: It goes to Adam! LOL, JK. It’s Dean, our resident young hipster, who questions whether or not he wants to introduce Rachel to his family as he has a complicated relationship with them. So he is obviously going to get a hometown date as that sentence is basically producer porn.
For their date, Rach and Dean go to Catholic mass in French, which they both do not understand, but for Rachel “church is about tradition.” Back at the horned-up hotel, Peter, looking grandpa chic AF in his sweater, says Dean may not be husband material, while Eric astutely points out it’s “game time.”
For Dean, game time means asking Rachel the hard-hitting questions, like if she believes in the tooth fairy and her favorite dinosaur. Shockingly, Rachel questions the depth of their relationship. Still, he gets a rose after opening up about his major family issues.
Third one-on-one date: It goes to Matt. JK, it goes to Adam. Psych! It goes to our salt and pepper prince Peter. The couple get a helicopter tour of the Swiss Alps, before going dog-sledding. Sadly, Copper does not make a surprise cameo. Back at the hotel, Matt, who has yet to spend any actual solo time with the Bachelorette, predicts they make have some awkward moments. Classic. Eric thinks Peter could send himself home, causing a chill to go down our spines.
On the next portion of their date, Peter opens up about his guilt over hurting the woman in his last relationship, by driving away from her as she was crying in the rear-view mirror like he was the star of an Eric Church country music video. Naturally, Peter gets the rose.
Three-on-one date: Eric, Who 1 and Who 2 go on their group date. Eric gets the rose. Because duh. But we were surprised by the amount of tears Rachel shed over sending Matt packin’.
So long, Adam and Matt, two men so boring they didn’t even get invited to Bachelor in Paradise.
What did you think of tonight’s episode? Whose hometown date are you most looking forward to? Sound off in the comments.
The Bachelorette airs Mondays at 8 p.m. on ABC.